"Berdl the Goniff and the Great Baby Exchange"
by Martin A. David
The first discovery took place some miles outside of town. Jacob-who-squinted stopped his wagon and climbed off to drain some of the extra liquid he had consumed. At the same time, he thought it might be prudent to wake his oldest child, a son, and have him perform the same act of discharge. He lifted the largest sleeping bump out of the back of the wagon and stood it on its feet.
“Kom, kom, gayn pishn,” he coaxed.
The sleepy child complied, but imagine Jacob’s shock and consternation when the small creature beside him squatted down and did it like a little girl. It took only a quick glance to reveal that she was, indeed, a little girl.
His wife, Faygl, a very superstitious woman became nearly apoplectic.
“It is you, it is your fault,” she screamed so loudly that birds in trees a half mile away began to stir. “Because you are always drunk. G-d has decided that we are not worthy to have a son. He has taken away our son as punishment and given us another girl to try to marry off without a dowry.”
Similar scenes, some with more yelling and screaming, some with less, were taking place from Narodny to Dolek. Imagine going to wake little Herschel and finding out that he had transformed overnight to a little Hindeleh, or from a dark-haired boy to a red-headed one. Everything from sleep-walking to divine intervention was blamed. Some of the exchanged children simply looked around at their new surroundings, new siblings and new situations and declared, “I’m hungry.” Others of the temporary changelings began to squall for their mamas—their real mamas—and set up a wave of noise that could be heard almost all the way back to Narodny.
Soon there was a great traffic of wagons and carts heading back towards the scene of the transformation. Neighbors met neighbors on the road and inspected each other’s children. By the time they all got to the Narodny marketplace, it was not a market day and the large, empty square seemed like an excellent place to meet, they all had realized that they were the victims of a colossal joke. An air of hilarity prevailed. It was annoyed hilarity, but hilarity nonetheless. Uninvolved townspeople stood around and roared with laughter, or whistled, stamped and applauded as groups of bewildered children were gathered in the marketplace while parents walked up and down holding joyous reunions with their own, or bartered a child for a child as if they were trading goats.
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