"Berdl the Goniff and the Great Baby Exchange"
by Martin A. David
“Well, well, well, little gentleman, and what is your name?”
“Mama.”
“And who is this mama of yours?”
“Mama.”
“Do you know your papa’s name?”
“Mama.”
The conversation was not progressing well. Berdl studied the little face in the moonlight. Ah, he thought he knew whose child this was. This sleepy urchin must belong to Gittel-with-a-limp’s cousin Miriam who, with her husband, Red-headed Kuppel, had a farm a few miles out of town, by the river. Berdl knew their wagon. He gathered up the small creature and carried him to the wagon. He lifted the canvas cover and started to put the now sleeping boy in the wagon. One, two, three…there were already three breathing lumps asleep in the straw. Adding the boy would have made four and four was one more than Miriam and Kuppel had produced. The boy belonged elsewhere.That is when the idea struck the impish Berdl.
Three was the proper number and three it shall be. He put the boy in the wagon and took one of the sleeping lumps out. The lump did not wake up. He carried the moist bundle to another wagon and set it there. Then, for the next hour, he tiptoed from one vehicle to another carrying his little packages, some of them whimpering and some of them dripping with the childish accidents of night, and depositing them here and there. Some woke up and complained, but Berdl charmed them back to sleep again with his rocking and lullabying until the mixture was complete. At the wedding, music played. Outside the wedding, Berdl danced to its melodies. Each of his little partners ended up in a different place from that in which he or she had started.
When the first sets of tired and slightly tipsy parents headed for their wagons and carts, Berdl was lurking in the shadows. The first cautious mother, in a scene that would be repeated many times, lifted the canvas that covered her family’s wagon, counted the sleeping bumps in the straw, listened to make sure all were breathing, and climbed wearily into the wagon seat for the long trek home.
After a few families had headed home, Berdl faded into the shadows and disappeared. Some things are better pondered and imagined from a safe distance.
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