conte [issue one - MAY DAY] - Closer Than They Appear

I start to smile and I think about what it’s going to be like when I put Melanie in Danny’s arms, and that’s when I look up at the windshield, out into the outside where the snow is hanging in mid-air and nothing moves and nothing makes a sound and that’s when I see, maybe for the first time in my whole life, with perfect clarity. It’s over. Whatever there was here, it’s over. The plants have all died, Sunshine, and the waters have all turned to icy patches on overpasses and the flat grey dime in the sky is the only light in the universe except for the moon’s glassy glow coming in through Melanie’s bedroom window while I stand silently beside her bed, looking down at her still, lifeless body, but they’re dead lights for a dead world because the truck, the eighteen-wheeler is right in front of me now.

There’s going to be blood. I’m going to spend the rest of my life dying and I’m wondering how long a person can hang on while (her mother is holding a pillow over her face) a huge truck is plowing over them. I guess it can depend on whether they have anything to live for, like seeing the facial expressions of a man who has just realized the full extent of everything he is responsible for, the facial expressions of a man who has just been given the surprise of his life. An hour from now, cops and paramedics will have come and gone, leaving behind only the debris. One lone red and blue siren will flash through the snow while the loose ends are wrapped up, the loose ends of a woman who recently lost a custody fight and who couldn’t get the name of a pop singer out of her head while she drove to meet her ex-husband to deliver their daughter to him. It doesn’t matter how much I have to live for though, because I can see with perfect clarity now and I see that it’s over.

I think Garfunkel’s a Jewish name. That makes sense.

Daddy.

Danny.

And Danny...

Danny...

He’s not Jewish.

He’s leading his new life in his new house.

I have a surprise for him. It’s in the back seat and it didn’t wake up when I brought it to the car this morning and that’s why it’s being so quiet.

Of course, the truck’s going to kill us both. That’s what the world’s going to think and they’re going to hate you for it. You bastard.

Jewish people are the most fun, what with their suffering and all, I think and grin as the world begins to move again.

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